True Heart. poem.

We gather things all around us that

 will make us feel good, but deep down

inside our heart aces and we grieve

for that some one we love.  

We all have a problem we don’t always

want to share and we think we are

different and nobody cares.

We can not get away from who we are where ever we go

we must face up  to who we are the best way we know.

BY JB.

Amazing.

Its good to be alive and wake up to the sunshine. The day I left hospital the ward sister came and said your leaving today and I have to say your amazing I was there at the start she said and we fought for days to get life back into you and look at you now, and that was just the beggining.

Gill Kimber.

I could not get your usual website to come up gilly but I did find this one very interesting indeed. You know how much I miss the small part I played in the past it was important to me I looked  forward to teaching the children arranging flowers and generally helping any way I could it made me happy. At the moment I am struggling, part of my bowel as been removed. A large wound is healing well but caused a lot of pain and I was sleeping a lot and feeling sick. Nurses still come every day.  Have a good day.

The battle commenced.

Each day there seems a new battle or challenge. Since arriving home I have noticed so many changes in me. The things I once liked to eat I now despise and things I never liked I crave. I have times where I have no appetite whatsoever.   I have lost about five stone in weight and I think it makes me look so much older. Even my skin texture as changes from soft and sensitive to quite tough in texture.  I can not go out my balance is so poor I wobble about like a drunk and have been known to fall.  Nurses come in every day to me to treat my wound that is healing but a painful abcess developed that gave me grief for days.

Fighting back.

After such a bad time just the sun shining through the window and seeing the trees blowing in the light breeze outside is a treat.  For weeks I occupied a small room looking out at another hospital building not a tree or green grass to be seen depressing it was and the weeks dragged by when i  could barely move a limb.

I was  black and blue from effort to take blood from me until finally the Doc came to say that I needed a blood transfusion and another and my blood was back to being topped up.  My energy level did not improve much and I dreaded being dragged out of bed and forced to walk every morning until I yelled for them to stop.  I hated the repeated food menu that never ever changed. No one else was going to come to see me except my hubby it was too far from home and I never told anybody any way where I was it would have been very difficult I spent three weeks in intensive care and knew little myself.

Hubby was loyal to the end and he finally bought me home.

Like Starting Again.

It is so much like  starting all over again here. I collapsed and landed up in intensive care just before Christmas, but I don’t want to go on about that too much I feel I have not been able to get away from it since, hospital appointments,  Doctors, and nurses, home visits, and dragging a heavy machine around every where unable to do anything or go any where.

Any way the last I remember of Christmas was enjoying a collection of lovely greeting cards from neighbours and going out to  buy Christmas goodys. I went to take the dog for a walk and suddenly felt very sick and after throwing up I couldn’t move a limb and was carted of on a stretcher to hospital, that was just the start.

Christmas came and went I knew nothing ,New Year came and went I knew nothing I was so very ill everything had to be done for me I could not even sit up without help from nurses who were constantly on hand.