I suffered a lot as a child holding me back a lot and almost destroying me but although my step mother was cruel i don’t think she knew what she said a lot of the time, or maybe i am being kind and making exscuses for her, but if i am, i am glad i can, glad i am capable of trying to understand and forgive.
Dispite the evil tongue she had she was a very moral woman and a very honist one and brought me up that way. It may not be a popular way to be in this day and age but i am glad she did. I was sent to Church every Sunday not some thing i wanted any more than any one else at the time, i stood often listning to long boring sermons that went over the top of my head and swore as soon as i was fourteen i was out of it and i was leading my friends out of it too, if i didnt go neaither would they, suppose i feel a bit guilty about that.
Years later i was drawn back by an older friend i had noticed that the people who seem to sort out there difficultys in this life and prosper were all people involved in the Church, and i had to sort myself out, i was messing up left right and centre.
I wanted to be in control of my life nothing was going to control me, like drink or drugs, i was my own master. And yes if i had to humble myself to god it was preverable to suicide attempts and allowing drugs drink cigarettes and any other shit thing control me, i wanted to say no to any evil offered me knowing it did me no good any of it. I didn’t care if it made me unpopular.
Sending me to Church was the best thing my step mother did for me and i will be eternally grateful for that.