From young to old.

0ne day we are young next it seems we are old, at least that is how it seemed to me.  0nce i marriad and had my children and they went to School, then found there own friends and there own interests, soon they flew the nest and i didn’t know them any more.  I looked in the mirror and i felt old, and grey hair was taking over, and the odd wrinkle, i looked like some one different.   0nce i had been glamour’s, smart,attractive and now i felt like a middle aged woman who had given it all to my children and left nothing for myself.  He and me found we no longer had much in common and my marriage had gone to the way side long ago because of his inablity to listen to me and talk to me and his violent ways and he never allowing me any freedom even to see my friends i grew to hate him for it, but i had no money he made sure of that and no place to go so until i was lucky to be left some money i could not leave, i made a last effort arranging a holiday for us but it didnt work out.  Finally i left  but he continued to dog my life he never made a new life for himself he made it his lifes ambition to hurt me because his ego was injured he seemed to think i should stand for his violent ways.  In the end he died from a heart attack i felt nothing but my daughter thought i should care like she did so it helped to seperate us for good.  101 blogging : alumni

The infinity dreams award.

aef61-infinity2bdreams2baward

Thanks to sandeep for this wonderful award.

Questions asked.

Whats my blog about.                                        It is a general blog.

Best friend                                                          My partner.

Pets.                                                                   Have a little dog.

Who would i like to meet.                                   Shirley Bassey.

Sweetest thing done for me.                               Remembering my birthday.

Best years of my life.                                           Now.

Do i have a phobia.                                             Yes i hate toads.

Can i go all day and not look at the clock.           Yes.

Cutest animal.                                                      They are all cute but mine of course.

Do wishes come true.                                           Some times.

Love is………..                                                       Kind, compassionate, forgiving.

I have nominated.

Koolitzable.

Vibrant.

Kathy.

Garth.

Mindandlifematters.

maddy at home.

Jackie.

Debbie.

Dr meg Sorick.

Maids day off.

Pamkirst.

Please thank nominater.

Answer above list of question about yourself and nominate another 11 peoples blogs you think deserve to win.

nominated

I have been out all day today and will be out in the morning so i will be back in the afternoon to perhaps pick up the pieces so to speak.  I will thank Sandeept now for kindly nominating me for the recognition award and infinity dreams award and i will follow that up gladly as soon as i have more time.

101  blogging : alumni

You always hurt the one you love.

This is an old song.

You always hurt the one you love the one you should not hurt atall

you always take the sweetest rose and crush it until the petals fall

you always break the kindest heart with a word you can not recall

but when i broke your heart last night it is because i love you most of all.

For some reason we do hurt those we love, we know we can, when we want to hurt somebody we know who to go for, if we want effect we will get it if we go for those who love us and who we love, sooo true! .

you always hurt the one you love.

101 blogging: alumni

Breath of life.

When i first tried meditation long ago i thought it was just one of those things that worked only for some.  I tried it alone i knew it was the best way for me, then if i had a bad night where i was stressed and restless and my brain would not rest and i thought i would go mad i gave it a go again.  It did help settle me resting my body and brain, i found myself able to set aside all the rubbish that filled me.  And many today have there heads full of rubbish stuff because we are made to feel guilty if we stop for a while to rest, we are made to feel that we should be doing some thing not just sitting around doing nothing, no time to stand and stare.  We chase the wind in life today little thought goes into things, so that we can live to regret a lot in later life.  Meditation can be a spiritual thing and it can help if we believe in some thing, infact  it is a sad life if you have nothing to believe in except all that you see and when that fails you have no place to turn.  People say is god a man or a woman Christ came in the shape of a man but god himself is a power neaither male nor female.  God looks into our hearts to see who we are this is why we should learn to accept others and look beyond the physical being. Beauty is some thing that will not last  and the more effort made to keep it can end up making us more ugly, we are like a rose beautiful when in bud and perfect, then the bud opens still perfect then it turns yellow and its petals fall and it dies life is like that.  We should not be chaseing the wind we should not be planning months ahead we should wake up and thank god for another day and meditation can help us do that.

101blogging: alumni   breath of life.

Draw,paint,write.

fascination.

Most of my time is spent drawing painting and writing stories and poetry everything else waits draw,paint,write..  Some of my best stuff comes to mind when i am lieing awake in bed and when i get up its gone, sadly, i seem to put together the very best poetry in my head and have trouble perfecting it on paper.  I have always been a book worm even as a small child wether it be a dentist surgury or Doctors waiting room or any where else  i would seek out some thing to read and get lost in a book, i was in my element to find a book shelf some where or a stray book it was as though books had magnets on them for me.

101 blogging:alumni

Fuming.

I am fuming, when i bought my computor windows 8.1 at pc world i was talked into alsorts of cover i would need but i did not, ‘so fast i felt ambushed’, and i paid £80 for cover from Mcafee that i could have got free with my bt package, and every time it stops working  i end up having to hang on the phone for ages being passed from one to another and repeating myself a million times and all they want to do is flog me some more stuff cracking on it will improve things. Do they really think i am so dumb i will believe that when the one i have doesnt even work half the time and when i contact them they do nothing about it only want more money,. and i end up sorting things out myself and useing other security whilst they wait there every chance to try to flog me more, “over my dead body!”.   I did ok with a free security for at least two years before all this shit.  I did not want Mcafee in the first place but it was already on the computor so it was easy to top it up.

101 blogging :alumni   fuming

Neglecting.

I am sorry to be neglecting this site a bit now that i have started my book site.  I am enjoying my books site more because i know what i want to write about there, and here i have times of not being sure what to write, no doubt i will find some thing to rant about again soon enough but at the moment books are taking priority.

101 blogging : alumni     neglecting

Nice morning.

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I managed to get her picture on after a fight, she is a sweety and i love her to bits.

Today my dog decided she did not want to go the usual way and i gave her the lead she took me down a long dusty track that led to a farm but the view was amazing and uplifting, the amazing thing was that as we got closer to the farm track a little dog shot out wagging its tail and barking at us and it was a little Shih tzu,  “Did she know,” did my little girl know there was another shih tzu there i wonder.  The two of them ran along wagging there tails as though they knew one another, they ended rolling all over the place then a man came down the path wearing muddy boots and he laughed, “That is where you got to,” he said to the little dog he turned around and the little dog followed him looking back towards us now and then.  When we got home my sweety needed a bath and did a runner when she saw i was getting ready for it and i ended up chaseing her all over, she is fast asleep now bless her.  101 blogging: alumni

What is success.

Do we know when we have made it, “What do i mean,!” well how do we deal with success? some people brush it under the carpet and forget about it, they are modest about it, may not even mention it to any one atall, others will boast putting themselves in a much higher success rating than they really have.  I was brought up not to boast but every one does that today it seems to be the way of the world now it is even expected, but i still find it difficult i am embarrassed to boast.  It is exciting when we first see a poem we have written published and i have had a lot of poems published by Forward poetry and was a top winner in 2004, i have won a number of small poetry prizes too. I have self published a number of short story books on amazon but again i have rarely mentioned them to any one.  I suppose it makes a huge difference if you have some one to share your success with and i didnt, my successes were not appreciated by any one close to me so i knew there was no point boasting about them.   But anyway back to the original question, do we know when we are successful?  I don’t think we feel anything different after the initial uplift of the moment in question once its laid to rest we must keep up the success or get lost in the crowd one might say forever unless some one digs into the archives. 101 blogging: alumni    what is success