The battle commenced.

Each day there seems a new battle or challenge. Since arriving home I have noticed so many changes in me. The things I once liked to eat I now despise and things I never liked I crave. I have times where I have no appetite whatsoever.   I have lost about five stone in weight and I think it makes me look so much older. Even my skin texture as changes from soft and sensitive to quite tough in texture.  I can not go out my balance is so poor I wobble about like a drunk and have been known to fall.  Nurses come in every day to me to treat my wound that is healing but a painful abcess developed that gave me grief for days.

Fighting back.

After such a bad time just the sun shining through the window and seeing the trees blowing in the light breeze outside is a treat.  For weeks I occupied a small room looking out at another hospital building not a tree or green grass to be seen depressing it was and the weeks dragged by when i  could barely move a limb.

I was  black and blue from effort to take blood from me until finally the Doc came to say that I needed a blood transfusion and another and my blood was back to being topped up.  My energy level did not improve much and I dreaded being dragged out of bed and forced to walk every morning until I yelled for them to stop.  I hated the repeated food menu that never ever changed. No one else was going to come to see me except my hubby it was too far from home and I never told anybody any way where I was it would have been very difficult I spent three weeks in intensive care and knew little myself.

Hubby was loyal to the end and he finally bought me home.

Like Starting Again.

It is so much like  starting all over again here. I collapsed and landed up in intensive care just before Christmas, but I don’t want to go on about that too much I feel I have not been able to get away from it since, hospital appointments,  Doctors, and nurses, home visits, and dragging a heavy machine around every where unable to do anything or go any where.

Any way the last I remember of Christmas was enjoying a collection of lovely greeting cards from neighbours and going out to  buy Christmas goodys. I went to take the dog for a walk and suddenly felt very sick and after throwing up I couldn’t move a limb and was carted of on a stretcher to hospital, that was just the start.

Christmas came and went I knew nothing ,New Year came and went I knew nothing I was so very ill everything had to be done for me I could not even sit up without help from nurses who were constantly on hand.

Yuk!

Goodness me this sore throut and hacking cough and fever left me wooly headed I walked into things and felt sort of drunk and confussed at times I still don’t feel right. There is some horrendous bugs going around. I hear of much worse things than I have had but what causes these horrible things I wonder and what can we really do about it. I don’t go out much or mix a tremendous amount but I still got this shit.

Lifted.

I don’t have anything to get excited about at Christmas and it is Christmas not just a holiday, it as always been Christmas and always will be at this time of year.

It was not always like it is now so comercialized. 0nce there was a spirit about Christmas you knew it was Christmas by the feel of it, there was a different feel about that special day even just approaching it.

Like i said i have nothing to get excited about i won’t get lots of presents and well wishes from all and sundry i won’t be visited by lots of friends and relations but i know the spirit will be there and just the thought sends a shudder down my spine, a pleasant feeling. I know that the holy spirit will be in my home on that day and i know that the joy it brings will keep me lifted for much longer than any gifts any one could bring.