Listen to your body.

“Listen to your body” some one said. If I listen to mine I would never get out of bed, it is saying, “I am tired, I ace all over and every thing is an effort” but I still get up whatever sort of night I had and get on with things, I would hate not to be able to do anything and expect others to do for me as I had to do once when I could not even lift a knife and fork to eat on my own my hands would not grip them, my hands were so weak, my feet would not move, and I was so weak I could not stand for more than a second without falling to the floor and then I could not get up. Doctors gave up on me I became a skeleton looking creature hollow faced and thin, part of my inside taken away and a huge hole in my gut I was dyeing and I knew it. I struggled to pray to a god that seemed to not be there and not care, “God help me” I called and very soon I awoke in intensive care much to everybody’s amazement. I could hear people and picked up on there amazement “Hello”, some one said it was a woman wearing a green mask and green overall “You have come back we never thought you would”, said the woman with a huge smile. The struggle went on, I was still isolated from every one I had a major operation, a heart attack, and sepsis there was a long way to go but I was alive and it seemed my prayer was answered.

0pen minded.

What is important to one person is not to another. 0nly when we are keen on playing tennis or any other game are we impressed by the one who is the best at the game nobody else feels anything about it.

We don’t really know what we like until some thing clicks with us some times we might with an open mind give some thing a chance  others will not,  they make up there mind they don’t like some thing and will not give it a chance.

I like to keep an open mind and try new things even if nothing clicks just to see if I feel any different about things when I have the full value of them after all if we don’t we might be missing some thing.

True friend.

I can remember some years ago when a chap was very bothersome wanted me to go out with him, me no, so when he invited himself over I put some curlers in my hair some thing I rarely do and the oldest clothes I could find and no make up thinking this would scare him of but it did not, he turned around and said, ” If this is how you look at your worse wow! you look great at your best”. In other words it did not work he was not put of and the funny thing is I liked him so much more, he liked me for me, those are the people worth having as friends. If we have to rush around to polish the house and dress up to please some one we don’t need them.

People person.

What is a people person some one who can not stand to be alone, am I a people person no I enjoy my own company and I think I prefer the company of animals to many people who only moan and complain all the time and find fault in others.

No I am not much of a people person although I enjoy the company of some people who have interesting things to say specially if they make me laugh. I am sympathetic to the misunderstood the unloved the one who is different they are often kind hearted people who accept others for what they are and are bullied by the well supported one who gets every thing his own way. My experience of people as not been good I have a history of people hurting and letting me down but I still give them  a chance now with a more open mind.

Evil brings out good.

It is true to say that evil brings out good, when things are as bad as they can get there is always an angel some where, a good soul, some one who truly cares, it is surprising. Some one will always reach out when we are in trouble even if some times we must wait a while. Feelings of hope will come to us from some one with kind words or arms reaching out to us to comfort us.  I had fell unconscious and when I awoke I couldn’t move I was terrified every thing had to be done for me  and I was fed through a tube it was thought that I would never do anything for myself again.

I sat up in a chair eventually and tried to cut a slice of toast a young woman watched me struggle then came to me and said, ” let me help you,” cutting my piece of toast for me. When tears came to my eyes arms went around me and a warmth flowed through me with the knowledge that some one cared. A young pretty girl came every day to clean my room she was just a cleaner but she always wanted to help me in any way she could, kindness flowed like I had never known in my life before and gradually I grew stronger with hope in my heart.

Not the way it should be.

It is with regret that I ever married that man, the biggest regret of my life, he was mean, greedy, selfish, and violent and I had no family to go to and if I worked he punched what I earned out of  me. He kept me from my friends,  isolated me from everybody.  I had two kids with him before it was too late for me, he took no interest in them until we divorced much later and because I found some one to love he spent all his time making trouble for me, I am the bad one. He found nobody else only because all he had he wanted to keep for himself and he dedicated his life to hurting me because I had hurt his ego. I did all I could for those kids and gave them all I had to give but they hurt me every way they could making me out to be bad and I could not have done more as a mother for them.

Before this I had married a man who loved fast cars, flying planes, the good life, along came a child after a short time of marriage and because he hardly ever came home at night except for a few hours I left the house we shared. The child was born 9 months later and he did not want to know, he wanted us to get back together without the child which I would not do so she was adopted I had no place to live and little money.  Later when I met her years later she wanted me to contact him about her and when he rang me he never mentioned her and wasn’t interested but he wanted to see me, once again I declined .

She blames me and hates me for everything. She did not like the truth, she had pushed for the truth but did not like it. It is such a pity that some people never listen or try to understand they make decisions about others without knowing or caring about the truth they hate all the wrong people they are sadly mixed up people with nothing to offer any one because there heads are a mess with there efforts to hurt others who just want to be there friend and love them.

True Heart. poem.

We gather things all around us that

 will make us feel good, but deep down

inside our heart aces and we grieve

for that some one we love.  

We all have a problem we don’t always

want to share and we think we are

different and nobody cares.

We can not get away from who we are where ever we go

we must face up  to who we are the best way we know.

BY JB.

Amazing.

Its good to be alive and wake up to the sunshine. The day I left hospital the ward sister came and said your leaving today and I have to say your amazing I was there at the start she said and we fought for days to get life back into you and look at you now, and that was just the beggining.

Gill Kimber.

I could not get your usual website to come up gilly but I did find this one very interesting indeed. You know how much I miss the small part I played in the past it was important to me I looked  forward to teaching the children arranging flowers and generally helping any way I could it made me happy. At the moment I am struggling, part of my bowel as been removed. A large wound is healing well but caused a lot of pain and I was sleeping a lot and feeling sick. Nurses still come every day.  Have a good day.

The battle commenced.

Each day there seems a new battle or challenge. Since arriving home I have noticed so many changes in me. The things I once liked to eat I now despise and things I never liked I crave. I have times where I have no appetite whatsoever.   I have lost about five stone in weight and I think it makes me look so much older. Even my skin texture as changes from soft and sensitive to quite tough in texture.  I can not go out my balance is so poor I wobble about like a drunk and have been known to fall.  Nurses come in every day to me to treat my wound that is healing but a painful abcess developed that gave me grief for days.